We first saw this movie after a series of tragedy and loss over a period of about 5 years or so. As I watched this movie for the first time, I was struck how much our own family was like the orphans - receiving little to no care or compassion from others and pretty much on their own.
Tears flowed a lot today. No money means very little chance of surviving, but only a little longer. Thoughts like - will we lose our home, how much longer can we possibly make it. Depression looms constantly, hope is only fleeting. No matter what funds come in - tax return refund, etc., nothing matters, nothing helps. Like the titanic, we have already taken in too much water and the ship sinks faster and faster. I am almost too weak to reach out to God. This video gives me a few minutes peace. Scenes from peaceful places. Places that are the opposite of where we live now...
A River Runs Through It
Here it starts out with part of the funeral of the
youngest son (Brad Pitt). The oldest son is now old and left with only
his memories.
We were supposed to eventually live and retire in the area where this was filmed. This was our dream for such a long time. We even had property in Montana, but had to sell it. The two brothers in the movie reminds me of my own 2 boys - fought in the beginning, but ended up being close. All the scenes takes me back to a place and time when we had big dreams and plans for our future.
"When I'm alone in the half-light of the forest, all existence seems to fade to a being with my soul and memories, and the sounds of the sweet Tampin River and a four-count rhythm, and the hope that a fish will rise..."
"Eventually all things merge into one... and a river runs thru it".
"The river was cut by the county's biggest flood, and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words. And some of the words are theirs..."
Here are the boys when they were young... just like our 2 boys. People even thought our boys were twins for a very very long time. My youngest son is much like Brad Pitt in this movie - stubborn, fiercely independent and a risk taker.
Today was a turning point. When things were at the lowest, I went to the Vineyard for prayer. And God spoke to me! I feel at peace and things are clearer now. I was reminded of the divine intimacy I once had and could have again.

on Wish I were here..